


Marriage Advice

by NeonDomino



Series: Quidditch League Submissions [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Brothers Are The Worst, Honeymoon, Jamulus, M/M, Overbearing brother, Regulus is so done, Sirius Black can't take a hint, best man speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29285469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: When James and Regulus get married, they didn't count on Sirius.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Quidditch League Submissions [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816924
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	Marriage Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Quidditch League - Daily Prophet Competition

* * *

It starts at the wedding, when Sirius stands up, hitting his fork against the glass in a practiced move, drawing everyone's attention. He takes his speech out of his pocket and unfolds it.

He coughs, clearing his throat as he looks around. "When I first found out that James was shagging my little brother, I was so pissed," he begins. "But... but I saw that they really love each other and I realised I didn't trust anyone with my brother except for James. I'm happy for them. I'm happy that they found each other. I'm happy."

* * *

"So… we're married now," James murmurs. "Let me get you out of that suit. Husband."

Regulus shivers. He likes the sound of that. "Should we move this to the bedroom?"

As James nods, there's a knock on the door, and James sighs heavily. "Who the hell could that even be?" he asks.

"Ignore it?" Regulus suggests, but they freeze at the sound of the door slamming shut. Someone is in their apartment. James takes out his wand and starts to walk towards the door, relaxing as Sirius comes into view.

"Great, you're here," Sirius says with a wide smile. "My brother and my brother-in-law. I notice you didn't eat much at the wedding, so thought I'd help out. I got you all pizza."

"That's… we appreciate that a lot," James says, glancing at Regulus. "We'll have that in a bit."

"It'll get cold," Sirius replies. "Just don't eat all the chicken wings, they're mine." With that, he opens the cupboard and pulls out a plate and starts to help himself. "So, what film are we watching?"

"Get rid of him," Regulus hisses.

"Mate, uh… tonight was going to be a quiet one," James tries.

"Sounds dull. Good thing I'm here. I'll go find a film for us, shall I?"

* * *

Regulus likes married life. He's been living with James for about six months already, but there's this extra level added to their relationship and he understands about the whole concept of a honeymoon phase. He has never smiled as much as he has in the last three days, and he can't wait for the actual honeymoon to start. James organised it as a surprise and Regulus has been snooping, trying to find clues. Though James knows him so well and has hidden every trace. Regulus can't even find the tickets.

James is finishing up some work before they go, so Regulus is making lunch for them both when he hears the doorbell. Not wanting to delay James, because he doesn't want James to stay up till three-am again, he walks to the front door, calling to James that he's getting it.

It's Sirius, and Regulus is worried already, because why would Sirius be here during his honeymoon? So he lets his brother in, and Sirius follows him to the kitchen, so James can have the quiet he needs to finish up the project that he needs to get done in order for his boss to give him an extra week off for the honeymoon..

He turns back to lunch, getting out some grapes and rinsing them. He starts to pick them off the stalk and tosses them into two bowls.

"Well?" Regulus asks, when it's clear Sirius isn't going to be the one to break the silence.

"Look, Reg, we need to talk. It's about James," Sirius says solemnly.

Regulus turns and realises that Sirius can't even make eye contact. His gaze is moving over the food, the fruit, the crackers and little blocks of cheese. Something is wrong, and Regulus is starting to panic. Is James unhappy? Has he confided in Sirius? Is that why James stayed up until three-am last night?

"Did he say something to you… about us?" Regulus asks, managing to keep his voice steady. He continues with the grapes in an attempt to stop his hands from shaking.

"He didn't say anything," Sirius confirms. "But I just know him so well and I've got to tell you something. I don't want this marriage to fail, and I… I know you both want to be happy, so here it is."

Regulus stares at him, waiting for it.

"The lunches. Look at this sandwich. You gave James the end piece of bread, and he hates the end bit. If you want to make this marriage work, you've got to do better than that."

Regulus continues to stare. " _That's_ why you're here?" he asks. "You know what? Get out."

Sirius nods and sighs. "I get it. It's very overwhelming and you need time to yourself. I'll leave you to it, but I suggest remaking that sandwich. But if this all fails, you're welcome to stay with me, okay? He may be my best friend, but you're still my brother and I've got you."

"Get. Out."

Sirius leaves, and Regulus double-locks the door in case his brother tries to come back in with a key. He goes back to the kitchen and finishes making lunch. He knows James won't eat that piece of bread - Sirius was looking at _his_ sandwich and not James'.

* * *

Regulus looks at the suitcase and then looks at his brother. Remus looks annoyed as he trails in after them.

"Look, I know you guys are too shy to admit that you need me, so I'm going to save you the hassle. I'm going to come with you. And Moony too, of course. You won't even know we're there. I just need the name of the hotel and your info so we can link the bookings so we're in the next room. Also, where are you going and what time is the flight, so I can book us on?"

Regulus looks at James who has a pained smile on his lips, and he looks at Remus who gives him an apologetic and exhausted look.

"Look, Sirius," Regulus starts.

"We haven't been on holiday in so long," Sirius continues. "I can't wait." He's so excited, and Regulus can't say anything more. "Oh, I gotta use the loo. Hold the suitcase, love?" He passes the handle to Remus, and pushes past James and Regulus.

"I tried to talk him out of it, but he's not listening," Remus whispers the second Sirius is out of earshot. "Tell him somewhere that you're not going, and then tell him you had a chance of plan, because I don't want to intrude. He might tell you that you won't see much of us, but he'll be sitting with you for every single meal, and sitting in your room. I know you want your privacy, and I don't want to tag along on your honeymoon. I'm only here because if he does somehow convince you guys to let him come, at least I can provide some sort of distraction."

James nods slowly. "There's a nice little hotel in Italy that I went to with my parents," he says. "You'll have fun there." When Sirius returns, James smiles and tells him all of the information he needs.

"We'll book our own flight and meet you there," Remus insists before Sirius can force that information from James. "I'm sure we can get something last minute. What airport are you guys flying from?"

"Uhh… you guys should go through Heathrow," James offers, and Remus nods, before leading them away.

"This is going to be so much fun," Sirius calls back.

* * *

Regulus sits at the table, his sleeves rolled up past his elbows as James gets them cold drinks. It's boiling hot in Egypt and he's excited. They're going on a Wizarding Tour today where they'll see all the old magical tombs, and he can't wait.

"How do you think things are going in Italy?" he asks James.

James grins. "I called the hotel about an hour ago and spoke to Remus. Sirius isn't as angry as he was when I called him yesterday, and Remus is glad that they'll have time alone together."

"It was a good plan. We'll have to get him a gift."

"And your brother, because we've got hell to pay when we return."

Regulus laughs. "It's worth it though. Two weeks, just the two of us." He lifts his drink and James lifts his own and they clink them together.

* * *


End file.
